My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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