North Korea, Best Korea!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
