i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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