Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
