I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
