the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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