I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
