i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I checked into jail on foursquare
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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