Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
