Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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