What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
the day after is always just damage control
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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