My cat gives me a boner
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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