i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
