I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
