I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Randomize
