i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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