I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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