Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
