It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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