How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Swine flu is the new snow day.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
PANTIES FOUND
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