matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
