I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
