gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Apparently you make a good broom.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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