I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i think i just lost a toe
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
