your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
