Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
