rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
