Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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