Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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