did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize