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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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