So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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