am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
tell me about the eggs
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
