Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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