she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize