my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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