Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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