I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
