So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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