Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
