dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
