Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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