pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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