I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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