He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
