If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
