Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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