Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
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