Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
