I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
