He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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