it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Enjoy the penises
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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