DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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