You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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