nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
