Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Princesses don't give blow jobs
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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