Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
