Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
