Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
