I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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